Hello everyone and welcome to another installment in the Loco Ocho Diary!
“YOU CAN’T OVERDOSE ON WEED! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”
When you hear the word ‘drug overdose’, you immediately think of an untimely death. This isn’t the technical definition of ‘overdosing.’ The technical definition is taking more of a drug than the recommended dose for you and having an adverse reaction because of the dose. Obviously, death is the ultimate ‘adverse reaction’, but we don’t have to be so dramatic. An ‘adverse reaction’ is an unintended result.
So, if “Dylan’s” goal was to take 300mg of Viagra because he was “really gonna show this Bumble girl what a real man was”, but he had a sudden drop in blood pressure, passed out, and soiled himself during dinner in front of his date, that was an overdose. A recommended dose for Viagra is 25-100mg, so 300mg was too much. Dylan’s goal was to become a Marvel Universe Character from the San Fernando Valley, but instead, he’s in the back of an Uber wrapped in restaurant aprons. Adverse reaction and unintended results. Got it? By the way, “Dylan” is a fictional character that represents everything that an alcoholic, chauvinist, macho pig is who based on a real person.
This next one may blow your mind. It did mine when I thought of it while I was writing the previous paragraph. If we define ‘overdose’ as an ‘unintended result’ of taking a drug, should someone who commits suicide using drugs count as an ‘overdose’? The drug did what they wanted it to, so technically, it was the correct dose to get the desired result. Man, this just got dark. We were just talking about Dylan pooping in his pants because he took too much Viagra and now were musing about if a drug suicide is actually an OD. Man, I love this Better Than Nine Tincture in my morning coffee!
This definition of ‘overdose’ also means that everyone has a different threshold for what’s too much. Two different people can do the same amount of a drug, one be fine and the other die.
I wanted to define “overdose’ to give the rest of this article context because I can already hear the stoner’s bitching, “No way fascist, People have been using cannabis for 5000 years and no one’s ever died.”
Now that we’ve established that an overdose does not have to be fatal, we can discuss this terrible delta 8 overdose I had on Monday night.
I wasn’t feeling good on Sunday morning, so I slept in. Then, I took a nap later that day while I was watching Olympics on the couch. Well, when bedtime came around, I was pretty certain that I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep because I slept all day. So, naturally, I came up with a plan!
Well, it knocked me out…until about 2am.
I woke up breathing so hard because I felt like I was suffocating. When I oriented myself, this thought in my head was that I was having a medical emergency and if I went to sleep, I wasn’t gonna wake up. This terrified me, so I got up, washed my face, and talked myself down. “Daniel, you must’ve overdone the delta 8 and your having a little freak out. You’re not gonna die. Go to sleep.”
I went back to sleep and woke up again at 4am hyperventilating again with this impending sense of doom. Then I thought, “Ok. 2 times. This is for real. You’re dying.”
So, I woke my wife up to tell her the bad news. I was having a medical problem and I probably wasn’t going to make it through the night and that I loved her and I was sorry.
Well, she remembered me saying, “Baby, I’m gonna sleep soooo good tonight!” as I stuffed my face with delta 8 products. She also remembered telling me, “Don’t take too much. I don’t want to deal with you freaking out and being weird.” “This is just Delta 8, it doesn’t trend towards paranoid freak outs.”
Even though she loves The English Patient and The Notebook she wasn’t very romanced about being woken up at 4am to the gasping whispers, “I’m dying and I love you.”
She saw that I was genuinely terrified, so she was nice and reassured me that I was freaking out from that big dose of delta 8 and I wasn’t dying, and I just needed to go back to sleep.
She waited until the next day to call me an idiot and yell at me for waking her up at 4am.
My intended goal was to get a good night’s rest by taking more than normal. Instead, I had 2 panic attacks and an angry Colombian woman.
And that, my people, is a THC Overdose. [Mike drop]
By: Daniel Macris
Cannabis Expert and CEO of Better Than Nine