Grapefruit Strain Info – Boutique*

Genetics: Grapefruit is a sativa cross of Cinderella 99 and unknown landrace sativa.

Appearance: Mid-sized, round, gnarly buds with all dark hues of green, purple, orange. Soft and sticky with gooey trichomes.

Smell: Sweet, citrusy, gassy – kinda like sour, citrus OG Kush.

Taste: pungent citrus and diesel

Terpene Profile: Limonene, Myrcene, Caryophyllene, Pinene, Terpinolene

Daniel’s 1-hit Review: This is a live review.

I’m about 30 seconds in and a bit scared because this may be a sativa with no guard rails for me. It’s 11:11 am, so I won’t be in the yard swinging a 7 iron until midnight like Versace did me.

I haven’t had Grapefruit since maybe 2018 or 2019. Grapefruit is one of my favorite strains that I almost always regret trying about 10 minutes after I hit it.

It always lures me in with it’s looks and smells, then it reminds me why I don’t like straight sativas as I careen through my head space getting pummeled by every thought I’ve ever had, every fear, every anxiety, every insecurity – real or imagined. If you have issues with sativa, you know EXACTLY what I’m describing. If you love sativas, you probably think that there’s something wrong with me. And you’re probably both right.

This Grapefruit is not different. It looks menacing. It’s some of the stickiest flower we’ve gotten. It doesn’t smell as citrusy as other grapefruit I’ve had, but it smells. More pungent and than sweet. It wouldn’t surprise me if it were a Grapefruit OG or SD cross based on the smell, color, and bud structure.

So far, I’m handling the sativa pretty well. It def feels like my heart is racing and my foot is tapping, but I’m keeping it together mentally (which is a win. I did take a smaller than normal hit bc I was legit scared of ruining the next 2 hours.) I’m a renaissance man and not ashamed to admit when I’m scared of something. This would’ve made a pu$$y 25 years ago. Now, it makes me strong.

What a mind fuck society does to us, right? They do this shit on purpose to keep us off balance so they can more easily control and f us. Who is ‘they’? Idk. I think ‘they’ changes, but it’s fundamentally whomever is controlling the levers of power (money, laws, communications, etc). You ever wonder why they give us all these rules that we have to follow or else we get some type of penalty? The penalty can be legal or even crazier like “you go to hell.”

For instance – lying, stealing, killing, insider trading are all against either secular or religious laws, but those who make us follow these rules, break more of them before I finish my cup of coffee than I do in a decade?

Then if you point it out, they tell you to “show some grace” or “it’s ugly to call people names”. Then, when you get upset and say, “NO. I’m not gonna sit here and smile and say thank you while you f me.”, they they turn into the victim and say, “I won’t tolerate being spoken to like this.” and end the discussion. Then you wonder why every other ad on TV is for ‘crazy pills’.

I have a good friend who is a therapist who specializes in men. I’ve never been to therapy. Not because I don’t need it. It’s because I make whomever I’m talking at the moment my therapist. For instance, you’re my therapist rn if you’re reading this. That’s why I give so many discounts. I don’t want yall to send me a bill.

But, I reached out to him to ask how he would advise me to be ‘cooler’ about constantly getting fucked by every system, every large monopolistic corporation, every government and NGO institution, every day. We talked about stoicism and Marcus Aurelius. He basically says that you can’t control what happens, but you can control how you react. The problem is that I’m choosing to react with vitriol and rage. I think my exact quote was “I was basking in a glorious rage.”

You can imagine that his response was very parsed since I seemingly showed pride in my wrath. This entire interaction was mostly us having fun with self reflection and devil’s advocacy. He did say, however, that over the last couple years he’s seen a large uptick in people being angrier. Not really surprising. Turn on the TV and watch anything other than “Friends” and you’ll be basket case in 15 minutes. Cue the Rexulti commercial.

Update from 2 days later: After rereading this, apparently if sativa doesn’t give me anxiety it riles me up to the point where I can set myself off into a rant with nearly no provocation. All I need to do is think about something that makes mad and that’s it. This happened last night with the Ocifer (sativa dom) and it made me start laughing about how I become an ironic character. Instead of the chill ‘stoner’, I become confrontational and bellicose. I thought it was so funny that I put the idea into Gemini and told it to make a comic strip character. Look what it made below. (I didn’t tell it what to say. It made all that up on its own. The only specific was that “you want a peace of me” shirt.)

As you can see, Grapefruit is an energizing sativa that just amped me up. Now, I have to calm myself down and get back to work.

Sativa lovers – go nuts.

Indica lovers – tread lightly

Note on product photos: We take the flower photos using our phone camera and white posterboard. What you see is what you get and most look better IRL than the photos. We don’t use filters, professional photography, pro lights, $5000 camera/lens, or stock photography.

*Not all coupons work on boutique flowers. The flowers are expensive and in limited supply, so we can’t discount them like other stuff.

This is one of the MOST EXCITING developments in the Legal Hemp Industry!

These beautiful buds qualify as industrial hemp and comply with ALL provisions of the 2018 U.S. Farm Bill. There are 2 legal requirements that a product must meet to be legal hemp:

1 . The cannabis plant must be grown under a Federal Hemp License.

2. The finished product must have less than .3% Delta-9 THC

These flowers comply with both. Look at the attached COA and you’ll see the Delta 9 THC is less than .3%.

Here’s the cool part. The Delta 9 THCa can be over 30%. This is not chemically altered or sprayed with anything. These are legit cannabis buds that are harvested before the D9 THC gets ‘hot’ (over .3%). Delta 9 THC and Delta 9 THCa are very similar compounds. In fact, THCa is a precursor to THC. However, they are 100% different, so the Farm Bill counts this as hemp.

Better Than Nine may not ship THCA flowers to jurisdictions where they are illegal. Please know your local ordinances before ordering or we may not be able to ship to you. Contact us if you have questions.

***WARNING***

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