Nuclear Slurpie Strain Info

Genetics: 50/50 Hybrid of super sativa Chernobyl and bedtime indica Slurpie OR Galctic Warheads x Cut Throat Candy. I prefer the Chernobyl x Slurpie because I’ve heard of those. Either way, it’s Nuclear Slurpie is a strong 50/50 hybrid.

Appearance: Spongy, sticky, mid-sized buds that are light bright green, orange hairs, and tons of white trichomes.

Smell: Sweet, floral, fruity

Taste: Sweet and fruity

Terpene Profile: Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool

Daniel’s 1-hit Review for March 2026 harvest:

I did my one hit last night, so this is a retelling instead of a ‘live’ review. I’m gonna start noting if the review is a retelling or live one to see the differences in my writing style. My guess is today’s will be much more direct, linear, and shorter since my brain is focused on finishing my work and not getting distracted. It probably won’t be as funny, but we’ll see.

This is the second batch of Nuclear Slurpie that we’ve gotten. The first batch was from a different grow and was light assisted instead of boutique indoor. What that means is that this batch is so much better that it isn’t recognizable from the last year batch.

I’ll start with the only criticism of this batch (and it isn’t even bad). This is a really sticky bud. It kinda gums up in the grinder a little. If you’re using a pipe, you’ll be fine. I could see this causing a challenge for rolling it up. I only use a simple glass pipe, so it isn’t an issue but I wanted to put that out there.

I like sticky buds because they almost always taste and smell so good. The trichomes is what causes the sticky. They are also what holds all the good stuff in the plant. Think of them as those little flavor crystals in gum.

I gave Nuclear Slurpee a very challenging test for the review yesterday. I got back from being out of town on saturday evening and had a mountain of catch up work. I was/am overwhelmed and stressed out, so I was already running hot. Then I got an email from Clear ‘confirming my cancellation’. I didn’t cancel it and we just used it 2 days earlier. I looked for a phone number and surprise surprise they only have chatbots, those cheap assholes. I waited on hold in a chat window for 30 minutes and was doing other things and they don’t have a chime to lyk when a real person sends a message, so I missed my supports person and had to do it again. I was livid. In fact, I was so mad that I feel my rage building just thinking about it. Turns out that the email was sent on accident, but they had to accounts for me and deleted the wrong or something.

It’s simply another example of the giant monopolistic companies being able to do whatever they want, have zero accountability, and tell us to ‘eat shit and like it’. You know that we have Anti-Trust laws in this country, right? I don’t think our elected officials know that. You’d think that a group of people that spend most of the day quoting the Bible and Constitution would have at least a loose grasp of what to documents say. But I’m probably just confused because I’m a dumb stoner.

The Nuclear Slurpee hit exactly like a good hybrid. It didn’t calm me down or amp me up right away. In fact, I stayed angry, and maybe got angrier, for about 10 minutes because it made me think about how much BS these institutions do to us and we have so little recourse. But it did change my perspective and get me back on track to finishing my work.

It did exactly what a balanced hybrid is supposed to do – just go with the flow. Nuclear Slurpee is a universal recommendation strain because it’s effects are so versatile. The look, feel, taste, smell, and effects are all top notch.

First Draft rabbit hole: The following is where this went to the first time. I realized I was only ranting and not talking about the strain, so I went back and started over, but the info is relevant so here it is. I guess it doesn’t matter if I’m retelling or live because I will go off on rants and rabbit holes completely sober.

You can see that there are conflicting lineages of Nuclear Slurpee. I’m not gonna rant about the ‘strain name game’ that growers and dispensaries try and do too much, but it’s stupid and lazy and a microcosm of everything that’s wrong with our society. If we’re being scientifically honest, there are only a handful of base cannabis genetics. There are infinite variations because of breeding. Think about like people. There are only a handful of races – Asian, Black, Caucasian, and some smaller ones. And look at the variation of different people we get from just started with a small starting input.

So, I guess each new plant is different, but we don’t need to give everyone a new name. Unlike people, plants aren’t ego driven dicks. HOWEVER, a lot of the people running them are. It’s all a lazy marketing play. Everyone thinks that they are going to trademark the next ‘Girl Scout Cookies’ strain.

If you want proof that these people are morons, I have it. WHY, if you are trying to create something with brandable and protectable IP, WTF would you name it after something that is already trademarked and part of American pop culture? AND WTF name it after something that involves kids? Seriously?

Just think about how stupid these idiots are? Same with names like Zkittles, Runtz, Hi-C. These people are living in brain deadville.

Note on product photos: We take the flower photos using our phone camera and white posterboard. What you see is what you get and most look better IRL than the photos. We don’t use filters, professional photography, pro lights, $5000 camera/lens, or stock photography.

*Not all coupons work on boutique flowers. The flowers are expensive and in limited supply, so we can’t discount them like other stuff.

This is one of the MOST EXCITING developments in the Legal Hemp Industry!

These beautiful buds qualify as industrial hemp and comply with ALL provisions of the 2018 U.S. Farm Bill. There are 2 legal requirements that a product must meet to be legal hemp:

1 . The cannabis plant must be grown under a Federal Hemp License.

2. The finished product must have less than .3% Delta-9 THC

These flowers comply with both. Look at the attached COA and you’ll see the Delta 9 THC is less than .3%.

Here’s the cool part. The Delta 9 THCa can be over 30%. This is not chemically altered or sprayed with anything. These are legit cannabis buds that are harvested before the D9 THC gets ‘hot’ (over .3%). Delta 9 THC and Delta 9 THCa are very similar compounds. In fact, THCa is a precursor to THC. However, they are 100% different, so the Farm Bill counts this as hemp.

Better Than Nine may not ship THCA flowers to jurisdictions where they are illegal. Please know your local ordinances before ordering or we may not be able to ship to you. Contact us if you have questions.

***WARNING***

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