Slapz Strain Info – Boutique*

Genetics: Idk what to believe. Internet agrees Slapz strain is an indica dominant cross of Grease Monkey x Runtz. The grower told me it’s a sativa. It hit me like total sativa.

Appearance: Soft, mid-sized buds. Light green with dark purple spots all over. Heave trichome coverage.

Smell: Sweet and diesel. It smells like runtz and gorilla glue.

Taste: Diesel and pine

Daniel’s 1-hit Review: Slapz is part of the 3 pack from a new farmer I found. I’m confused about it. The genetics point to indica all day. However, the grower labeled it as sativa. It’s effects were only sativa to me.

The plan was to take my 1 hit and go check out this new place called Dave’s Hot Chicken. Slapz looks, smells, and tastes great. The effects hit very fast. I almost canceled dinner because I didn’t want to go into public, but I was hungry.

We got to this restaurant and it was so crowded that I started to get anxiety about not wanting to be around people. I went back to the truck and nearly ordered the same food online to for pick up, but since I’d never been here, I wanted to go inside and see what the fuss was about. I also wanted to see how hot the Carolina Reaper was before I ordered it.

I mustered up the courage to go in. The menu was pretty simple, so the main thing I needed to know was the Carolina Reaper one edible spicy or ‘food challenge’ spicy. I can eat spicy food. I can chew up a carolina reaper and be okay. It’s hot, I’m going to hallucinate for a couple minutes, then blow my nose and be good. Just because I can tolerate super spicy doesn’t mean that I want to eat that when I’m trying to enjoy a meal. It’s more of an experience.

I think the girl that was helping us had either had a tranquilizer or a lobotomy because she was an f ing idiot. Here’s the dialogue with this idiot:

Me: “How hot is the Reaper?”

Her: “Hot.” (with no facial or vocal expression. She may have been an ai).

Me: “I know it’s spicy. Is it edible or is it like you get a t shirt if you can finish it?”

Her: “It’s the spiciest one we have.”

Me: “Let’s try this a different way. Can I get a small portion of the reaper sauce on the side?”

Her: “It’s not a sauce.”

Me: “Okay. Can you give me a fry that has some on it?”

Her: “The fries don’t have hot seasoning.”

At this point, I was too “Slapped” and paranoid to continue trying to communicate with this dopey teenage girl, so I just ordered 1 Carolina Reaper chicken finger. That fucker was so hot. I ate about half of it and took a break while I ate the extra hot ones I ordered as backup. I went back to the reaper took another bite and it wasn’t enjoyable. I got so mad at it that I threw it in the back yard to mess with the raccoons that come over at night.

I wasn’t mad that it was so spicy because Carolina Reaper is the 2nd hottest pepper. But, the heat depends on the concentration. I’ve have Reaper stuff that’s hot, but not TikTok challenge hot. I’m mad that that stupid girl was so unhelpful in communicating anything about how hot this was.

I youtubed “Dave’s carolina reaper” and it’s a viral meme challenge of people trying to eat them. I think that would’ve been useful for her to say, “Everyone has a different tolerance, but people have made eating this a social media challenge.” That would have lmk that these fuckers are no joke hot. I’m gonna go back there and make them give me a free chicken tender since I had to throw that other one away. Plus, they say you’re supposed to sign a waiver and I wasn’t told about that nor did I sign one, so they are legally liable for my trauma. I’m gonna sue them for $150 million. Then, I’m gonna give everyone a free 3.5.

Slapz definitely made this situation worse because it’s sativa effects made me have social anxiety. Instead of hammering that girl with questions until she answered gave a satisfactory answer, a sample, or brought someone with a fully functioning brain to help, I got scared and just ordered to end the bizarre interaction.

If you like sativas, Slapz is for you. If sativas give you anxiety, get the Bull Run, Bubblegum runtz, Baguette because this will slap the shit outta you.

*Not all coupons work on boutique flowers. The flowers are expensive and in limited supply, so we can’t discount them like other stuff.

This is one of the MOST EXCITING developments in the Legal Hemp Industry!

These beautiful buds qualify as industrial hemp and comply with ALL provisions of the 2018 U.S. Farm Bill. There are 2 legal requirements that a product must meet to be legal hemp:

1 . The cannabis plant must be grown under a Federal Hemp License.

2. The finished product must have less than .3% Delta-9 THC

These flowers comply with both. Look at the attached COA and you’ll see the Delta 9 THC is less than .3%.

Here’s the cool part. The Delta 9 THCa can be over 30%. This is not chemically altered or sprayed with anything. These are legit cannabis buds that are harvested before the D9 THC gets ‘hot’ (over .3%). Delta 9 THC and Delta 9 THCa are very similar compounds. In fact, THCa is a precursor to THC. However, they are 100% different, so the Farm Bill counts this as hemp.

Better Than Nine may not ship THCA flowers to jurisdictions where they are illegal. Please know your local ordinances before ordering or we may not be able to ship to you. Contact us if you have questions.

***WARNING***

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